Saturday, 14 February 2009

Back from the Holiday

I ent on holiday. It was five weeks. I thought about putting a cola bottle of water and a bucket of food in the cage -  a whole five weeks worth, but then I thought it’d probably all go wrong by the third week, so I found a rat sitter.

Oreo and Trudy charmed her pants off. They were on top form, blinking cutely and wiggling their noses and shoulder snuggling.

I didn’t get any e-mails on how they were doing, despite promises. Tch.

Upon returning, I was assured they’d been little darlings and they’d bee the star attraction of the household for the entire time, and done astoundingly winsome and cute things the whole time, as well as failing to savage anyone or perform any feats of  egregious bad behaviour, and had even learned to snuggle up in the hammock.

Which astounded me because I couldn’t get them to use it, but apparently the big draw if the hammock is being able to lie in it and drape one’s pointy little nose out and stare fixedly at people.

After I got the vermin back, I moved them down tot he same room as the computer, partly for warmth, partly because it seems cruel to move them from an active environment to a comparatively quieter one… so they can now listen to the same music as me and watch the same videos. They like CSI, it turns out.

The only downside is listening to them pounce on each other and powergroom each other’s heads until protest squeaks occur, and the creepy feeling one gets upon turning around and finding a rat is perched on the edge of the platform in the cage, and is watching me in the manner of a vulture…

Things you didn’t know about rats

  1. Once you pull the pin, Mr. Rat is no longer your friend.
  2. When their whiskers wiggle, it’s because they’re trying to read your thoughts.
  3. Rats laugh, but they never sing alone.
  4. They prefer to duet.
  5. Unlesss they can get a quartet together.
  6. Rats have a genetic memory that enables them to mime from birth.
  7. Rats would have evolved thumbs and taken over the world, but it’s against their religion.
  8. A rat dies every time you say “I don’t believe in rats”.
  9. Rats are too intelligent to get into a fight with Bruce Schnieier over security. They don’t buy hard drives with linear encryption either.
  10. Rats like listening to David Byrne.